First Impressions: Ports 1961 Fashion Show Smells Better Than Our Hotel Room

Moe decided to break her self-imposed ban on non booze-involving fashion week events to attend the Ports 1961 show because of a unique globalization angle: the brand is based in Xiamen, a Chinese city renowned mostly for being the home base of the country's thriving human trafficking industry. The designers used mostly black models, an interesting choice, but an insight into the method behind their madness: 6'1 black women can make anything look expensive, even clothes that scream "flagrant appeal to former communist bloc!" Which half of these dresses were. Here's what she had to say: 9:28: "Standing room again. This morning when Briana came into the hotel room her first words were 'Oh it smells gross in here!' I am dying from pneumonia and could not smell anything though I had noticed a meatball sandwich had been left on the desk overnight. Anyway, right now, the floral smell is overpowering. Fashion has such wondrous abilities to sharpen the senses. Ivanka Trump has an awe-inspiring rack, if that is her..." (Click through for more)

9:39: "Also in standing room: Sharon, Kitty and Winki, all designers for Ports. Do designers usually stand in standing room? I guess they don't need to be up close to appreciate the fine detailing of the clothes they just designed. They all live in Xiamen. Um, African music and first two models are black. Make that first THREE! It is the anti BCBG." 9:43: "Okay, so these clothes are predominantly for Chinese customers, as this is, as far as I know, the leading luxury brand in China or something. And there are totally some chintzy looking if expensive fabrics and retarded details I can see going over well in China. But on black models, and most of them are black, they look super classy." 9:47: "Now music is Moroccan. All colors are neutrals, which is nice. China can be a little florid color happy on account of all those years in navy and army green. ALEK WEK?!" 9:51: "Oh man, ugliest dress ever. There's a definite line between dresses where someone laid down the law and said "enough with the cutesey little details" and the ones where they were just like, "eh, fuck it, the last time we covered a dress in pom poms and rosettes it sold HUGE in Hong Kong." 9:52: "Wow. Show ended, and when lead designer came out, the crowd went wild. That didn't happen at Nicole Miller."