L.A.M.B., Marchesa, BCBG: The Critics "Speak"

It's shocking, we know, but some people take Fashion Week really, really seriously. Designers shudder and quake in anticipation as the world's top "fashion journalists" pull out their best and most pretentious purple prose reviewing the Spring/Summer 2008 collections. So we've decided to do a little primer on what the major critics have to say about the latest collections, adding exclamation points to give that special movie-review effect. First up, L.A.M.B., Gwen Stefani's line for celebutards and LA-trendoids.

L.A.M.B.
"Produced a vacuum. Weren't platform shoes with knee socks last season? The clothes — the too-tight miniskirts, the checkered dresses, the coy black ties — were astonishingly bad, straight out of a mall in Ditzville!" — Cathy Horyn, NY Times

"More sincere than most with it's sharp mod looks... Stefani has a passion for fashion that gives a freshness and sincerity to the clothes!" - Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"Sort of a '50s, sexy, preppy punk mish-mash that had a clear point of view. Go figure!" - Robin Givhan, Washington Post

"Her debut...was nothing short of cacophonous... the collection, which looked like the sixties as seen by someone who grew up in the eighties, was altogether more wearable and on trend!" — Nicole Phelps, Style.com [Ugh. "On trend"? How 'Lucky' magazine. -Ed.]

"Highly stylized... A handful of the outfits were costumey...Stefani might be able to pull this off onstage, but the average woman would have trouble wearing it, no matter how cute it looked on the runway!" - Samantha Critchell, Washington Post

"Replete with looks that easily could be plucked from her wardrobe trailer...a master of glam-rockabilly, not to mention leopard prints mixed with adorable basics!" — WWD

L.A.M.B., Marchesa, BCBG: The Critics "Speak"

Marchesa
"[Their] recognizably English scorn of high fashion that is registered in something as subtle as the droop of a ribbon sash or the nearly chestless front of a pale embroidered slip...Theirs is a delicate balance between getting noticed and pretending not to care, and it can be spoiled by something as common as a crystal-beaded bodice!" — Cathy Horyn, NY Times

"Vignettes of elaborate eveningwear...a magenta strapless gown that mimicked an unfurling flower, with uneven petals of fabric...Many of the colors in the collection also seemed rooted in the spices of the region, including lemongrass and saffron...went for drama!" — Samantha Critchell, Washington Post

"The assured collection showed the duo moving away from the red-carpet territory in which they made their reputation....less literal were a pair of strapless styles, one short and one blossoming in tiers to the floor, with heavy gold beading...Marchesa's profile keeps rising. Happily, so do the duo's ability and ambition!" — Nicole Phelps, Style.com

L.A.M.B., Marchesa, BCBG: The Critics "Speak"

BCBG
"A subtle dusty palette with only the occasional pop of a blush pink...next season's shape — at least for BCBG — is a loose sheath, one that glides over an hourglass shape without sticking to it!" — Samantha Critchell, Washington Post

"Out went the slightly witchy trappings of Fall, and in swept yard upon yard of airy organza, sheer tulle, and liquid jersey. The Azrias played with a familiar feminine dichotomy: the lady and the tramp...the two extremes were a bit jarring...the show's grander themes of 'luminosity' and 'layers of transparency' at times got the best of them!" — Meenal Mistry, Style.com

L.A.M.B., Marchesa, BCBG: The Critics "Speak"

Badgley Mischka
"Loose swinging hair, scarlet lips and a sexy attitude failed to convince that this brand will spread and flourish until it celebrates a distant birthday!" — Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"...Fluid suitings and jumpsuits in washed shantung and the maxidresses...these inspirations made for an unusual and sometimes jarring combination. Badgley and Mischka would do better for themselves to refine their message next time!" — Nicole Phelps, Style.com

L.A.M.B., Marchesa, BCBG: The Critics "Speak"

Carlos Miele
"Signature circle motifs, embroidered by peasants in the slums known as favelas, were used in imaginative ways on superlight fabrics...deftly done...Miele has learned to mix North and South America into the best of both worlds!" — Suzy Menkes, International Herald Tribune

"Balance was the name of the game...Dresses...were unembellished. Grand gowns were quieted by a pale, pearly hue...there were a few moments of overexuberance...!"— Meenal Mistry, Style.com

"His sultry coral and turquoise gowns with intricate rosettes seemed overdone, but Carlos Miele's more subtle day looks in muted champagne lace hit the right note!" — WWD