Before the Food Network was all about curvaceous Nigella, perky Rachael, and overly annunciating Giada, Clarissa Dickson Wright, who rode in the sidecar (remember!?!?) alongside her cohort Jennifer Patterson, cooked meat pies on a little show called The Two Fat Ladies. The culinary program was definitely less about the food (not being British, kidneys and, you know, blood pudding isn't our thing) and more about the jolly fun and hilarious rapport between the two, yes, FAT, woman behind the counter. Wright's autobiography, Spilling the Beans, just hit the shelves but it's not going to be quite as jolly a tale as the Britishisms she drolled on Fat Ladies. Rather, Wright survived a brutal childhood in which her father named her after a pig, beat her, and made her eat carrots covered in slime. She pursued food as a way of defying his desire for her to be a doctor like him and though we still can't get the image of her massaging ground meat with long-taloned fingers out of out head, we're glad to hear this fat lady came out on top. [Daily Mail]