Barack Obama is saying that even though he is young and delectable and has graced the cover of one-sixth as many fashionable magazines as Heidi Klum he is too devoted to his wife to run again. She wouldn't let him! Meanwhile, Tipper would let her husband run again even though he's done it nineteen times already and always loses somehow. See, because running for president is sort of like poker night, and every wife suffers differently for it: as Michelle tells October's Glamour:

[My daughters and I] have this ritual in the morning. They come into my bed, and Dad isn't there — because he's too snore-y and stinky, they don't ever want to ever get into bed with him. But we cuddle up and we talk about everything from what is a period to the big topic of when we get a dog: what kind?

Her bed?? Snorey and stinky??! (Maybe rethink the dog thing!)

Um, so yeah, for all of you who were wondering if Barack Obama got laid last night, she was too busy talking about menstruation with her daughters. And because this election is in so much danger of insufficiently reaching out to the lady bunch, you should know that Michelle loves Robin Thicke, Lauryn Hill and "good women who can sing," that she works out two hours a day, and that Oprah is so jealous of Tyra for landing an interview with Candidate Odorama that she just hired Stevie Wonder and her favorite Ethiopian chef to play her gala fundraiser for the guy. (OMG, it sounds almost as fun as the Marc Jacobs show!) (And yeah by the way I'm not attending any more shows; whoever said "war is Hell" never went to Fashion Week; not that we do not support our troops; just saying we could use some National Guard presence over here; yes it is that bad; I may flip-flop on this issue and attend tomorrow's Baby Phat; developing as they say...)

For Obama, It's Now Or Never [ABC News]