Glamour's October cover girl is Ugly Betty America Ferrera, and you don't have to be a Glamour guest blogger like Perez Hilton to clue into the notion that the photo is somewhat, erm, lessened.. The weird thing about it, though, is that instead of making her all Stepford-y and ana-looking like certain blondes we've seen pared down to sell magazines, the retouchers seemed to add more suspicious lumps to the "curvy" star's arms than they took away. Underminery? Um, alternately that, and idiotically racist, according to the accompanying story, "Surprise! She's A Bombshell! (And You Can Be One, Too)" which is so simultaneously sycophantic and predictably idiotically racist the US Latin Americans over at Guanabee managed to get, like, nine jokes out of it.
GLAMOUR: So 11 Emmy nominations for Ugly Betty, two new films in the works. You're huge!
[Translation: How can you be successful? You're huge!]
GLAMOUR: So do you think Hollywood is moving away from the tall, skinny blond as the actress ideal?
[Translation: Should we be frightened?]
GLAMOUR: Do you still pinch pennies out of habit?
[Translation: Are you the first in your family not to live on welfare?]
And that is so not all!
GLAMOUR: Did you ever go through a Betty-like awkward stage? [Translation: You grew up wearing a serape, right?] AF: I never wore braces, but I did wear retainers. [Translation: No more than any other White girl.] AF: But the most awkward stage I went through has to be my freshman year of college: I had really frizzy hair [and] that extra freshman 15 [Translation: And I went to college, Esa.] GLAMOUR: Do you have any leftover body insecurities? [Translation: You're not thinking of STAYING this size, are you?]Yeah we don't have much more to add, except that we really wish they had run the whole unabridged interview in which the writer coos over how sweet it is that she's named "America" when, duh, no real Americans would name their kids that, but now she's like, sort of achieving the "American Dream," which is kind of why it makes sense that she's fat, because they probably had to use food stamps growing up, right?