There's a new book called Sperm Count out about the history of sperm and the role it has played in our culture. Nerve has an interview with the author, Lisa Jean Moore, if you can stomach it (there's a lot of bukkake talk).
Now there are all these videos—Sperm Guzzlers, Cum Guzzlers Volumes 1 though 27—and part of what's going on is that men are getting to experience the idea that their semen doesn't need to be blocked or sanitized. Instead, women just can't get enough of it, and it's cherished and delicious and fabulous.
We'd like to take a moment to address this sentiment with a big, Whitney-style "Hell to the naw!" We're not the squeamish kind when it comes to bodily functions, but we also wouldn't describe splooge as "delicious and fabulous." After reading that interview, we instantly thought of plenty of instances where we could get enough of sperm. After the jump, the top five times and places when semen pisses us off, in ascending order.
Under Our Nails: We sorta feel for porn stars because they have those crazy ass corn chip nail tips that are like SWV-esque. How do they deal with cum claws? It's like an occupational hazard, we suppose.
In the Belly Button: When dudes pull out (and yes, some of us are into that) and spray it on you, it sucks when it gets in your belly button. For real, it's hard to clean it out, and it seems to stay extra sticky once it pools in there.