Amy Winehouse is on vacation (and, apparently, not showing up to the VMAs!), as you may know. We saw this picture of her relaxing and we thought, how nice! And then we looked closer. Amy seems to have some sort of... irritation. In her bikini area. Sure, it could be razor bumps — we've been there! But what if it's not? We're always looking out for our girl. (Her husband sure isn't!) So, naturally, we consulted our favorite specialist, WebMD. Find out what the good doctor told us, after the jump.
Yeah, we kind of can't believe we're doing this, either. But look! Something is up "down there." The symptom checker informs us that this location is called the inguinal area. And what are the symptoms? Um, swelling? Maybe? Could be cellulitis. "A common infection of the skin and soft tissues under the skin." People at risk include those with "circulatory problems such as inadequate blood flow to the limbs" and also "liver disease." Hmm, possible. But let's try again.
It's more of a lump or a bulge, no? Is it localized to the vaginal area? Um, kind of. And we don't know if it's made worse by bowel movements, but our results are still horrifying: inguinal hernia? Hmm... probably not. Abscess? Ugh. It doesn't seem that bad. Swollen glands? Not exactly. There's only one item left on the list: Syphilis.
"Anyone who comes into close physical contact with a person who has syphilis can develop syphilis. You don't have to have sexual intercourse to get syphilis — exposure can result from contact with an infected person's genitals, mouth, or rectum." Oh, great. What else? Primary stage: open sores. Secondary stage: skin rash. Latent stage: No symptoms, also called the "hidden stage." Late (tertiary) stage: If untreated, syphilis causes heart disorders, mental disorders, blindness and death. Also "syphilis is one of the most common reportable infectious diseases in the United States." You know what? We're really, really, really sorry we asked. Thank god there was no close-up of Blake's crotch, though.