Every August, the September issues of the major women's magazines hit newsstands, and every August, media watchers ooh and aah over these magazines' total page counts, cover girls, weights, etc. For the fifth installment of our Expensive Shit (Fight), Interns Maria and Cheryl compare the apparel, accessories, beauty products and other assorted items in Allure and Marie Claire magazines. After the jump, a breakdown of the two magazines' net 'worth'.

Allure
Apparel: $123,263.99 (Most Expensive: $15,550 Armani Silk Dress. Least expensive: $14.50 J. Crew tank top)
Beauty: $482.99 (Most Expensive: $275 Armani Crema Nera. Least expensive: $24.99 L'Oreal Paris Skin Genesis Daily Treatment Serum Concentrate. Number of unpriced beauty items: 197).
Accessories: $105,365.50 (Most Expensive: $27,500 Chanel Alligator and Metal Satin Handbag. Least expensive: $14.50 Capezio cotton legwarmers)
Other: $3,059.99 (Most Expensive 249.99 Motorola Krazr cell phone. Least expensive: $110, Marine Thermal Back Facial at the La Vie Zen Spa)
Total Shit: $232,172.47

Marie Claire
Apparel: $260,587.03 (Most expensive: $96,830 Roberto Cavalli gown. Least expensive: $14.50 Alice Temperley for Target t-shirt)
Beauty: $1,581.99 (Most expensive: $300 Shisedo Bio-Performance Intensive Skin Corrective Program. Least expensive: $7.50 OPI nail polish)
Accessories: $253,010.70 (Most expensive: $17,800 Cartier watch. Least expensive: $11 Hue tights)
Other: $111.95 (Most expensive: $56 Sage candle. Least expensive: $36 Luxe bath crystals)
Total Shit: $515,291.67

Earlier: Shameless September Ladymags: Harper's Bazaar Vs. W
Shameless September Ladymags: Cosmopolitan Vs. Teen Vogue
Shameless September Ladymags: Elle Vs. Vogue
Shameless September Ladymags: Lucky Vs. Glamour

Send an email to Anna Holmes, the author of this post, at anna@jezebel.com.