So this woman walks into a bar, right? She pays a $6 cover charge and drinks a vodka with 7-Up. She steps out for a smoke. On her way back in, the bouncer tells her she can't re-enter the bar. She asks why, and no real reason is given. "I turned to walk away and the bouncer that worked there told me to lose weight," she says. Anyone want to go to Nova Scotia and kick this guy's ass? [The Chronicle Herald]