BROKEN NEWS: Castro Dies, Brought To You By Perez Hilton

Um, we're going with "mildly alarming" if this is even mildly true:

Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that U.S. officials will be holding a press conference shortly to announce the death of Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.
Anyhow, we heard his brother's been running the country and just waiting around for Fidel to die so that he can start ushering in the sort of economic reforms that had made China so lung-killingly prosperous and making full use of their cheap and well-positioned labor force. That means competition , Perez. And yeah it means more end times for us. Also, CNN has still not reported this. Though Drudge and other sites claiming it's not a Perez exclusive have. [PerezHilton ]