TMZ Sincerely, Honestly Cares About The Children

TMZ posted a photo of Courteney Cox and David Arquette with their little daughter Coco Cox rowing happily along in a kayak a little while ago. Coco is sitting her dad's lap, and guess what—she isn't wearing a life jacket! So TMZ got its "Celebrity Justice" knickers all knotted up, and they checked and found that "according to Hawaii state law, children 12 and under are required to wear life jackets," and then they called David Arquette's rep for a response. Then they probably called the cops. Why? Because they care about Coco? Maybe we have a little of the PMS today, but this pisses us right the fuck off.

The kid will be fine! In the extremely unlikely event that she falls out of the kayak, what is she going to do, sink like a stone? Our dad used to drive us around with a big old snifter of cognac in the front seat of the car (on the gearshift, actually!), and we turned out fine. If TMZ wants to be in the child-protecting business they can go right on down to our local Target, take some photos of the parents there whacking their kids, and call Child Services on them.

Courteney And David Pull A Britney? [TMZ]