What is it that European magazines have that American magazines don't? It's something much, much more tangible than just a little je ne sais quoi: They have tits. Naked tits. On full display. After all, what compliments Chanel black leather over-the-knee boots better than boobs? This month in French Vogue not one, not two, but ten sets of bare breasts can be found. (Ten nipple shots — twelve sets of bare jugs, if you count cover girl Claudia Schiffer, who covers her rack with her palms.)
So here we make an open plea to Anna Wintour, editrix of American Vogue and clearly the best frenemy that Carine Roitfeld (her French counterpart) has ever had — or so we deduce from the fashion editorial spread inspired by Nuclear Wintour herself in the version francaise) — take a page for the livre du Carine: Naked. More naked, please. If there were more naked, well then, Anna, wouldn't the world be a better place? We think it would. There's something so lovely and freeing about seeing all these girls without a care in the world, wearing all sorts of expensive shit — and their birthday suits! It gives the whole magazine a very sophisticated/smutty feel. Because nothing spells taste like choosing to show a little nipple. Not to mention that these are the kind of pin-ups we can get behind. As a card-carrying member of the Girls Who Like Boys club, I sorta want chanteuse/former Mick Jagger flame Carla Bruni taped to my wall. And I refuse to believe that I'm the only one who feels this way.
So, Anna, seriously: Want us to stop hating on Vogue? Then three words for you: Naked. Girls. Posing.