Please Welcome Heather!

Dear readers,
What's up? Anna is out today, and we've enlisted a guest blogger, Heather. To be honest, we don't know much about Heather. She wouldn't even send us a picture. We've heard rumors that she was in a west-coast astrophysics program when she decided she'd rather take a job tending Philip Seymour Hoffman's plants. Later she was on a trans-continental red-eye and met a flight attendant who had slept with Dennis Hopper and was looking for someone to ghostwrite her autobiography. The stewardess turned out to be a liar, but Heather stayed in New York to try her hand at blogging. Please welcome her to the coven of Jezebel!