The September issue of Teen Vogue celebrates what Time last week dubbed as China's rising "Me Generation" in a 10-page photo spread that could speak thousands upon thousands of words — if that was legal there! Sadly, the spread is almost completely devoid of text, so we consulted the Time piece, which basically goes to town quoting 23-year-olds saying shit like "I care about my rights when it comes to the quality of a waitress in a restaurant or a product I buy" — a real quote — and "I think all those students who protested on behalf of democracy at Tiananmen deserved to die for their stupidity" (a paraphrase). In honor, we attempt to caption the Teen Vogue spread in the imaginary words of model, Me Generation Member and apparent anorexic "Emma". Enjoy!

"See this wall? It was built to keep the mighty Mongolian steppe tribes from crossing the border into China and taking our jobs or our slaves or something. The government says we don't have to worry about Mongolians now that you can like barely see across the street because the smog is so thick. The Mongols would never know where they were going! But that's why we created pirated Photoshop. You can totes make the sky blue! We call it perpetuating natural standards of beauty. I totes do it in all my Myspace pix.