Magazine Photoshop Chops: Even Jennifer Lopez Is A Victim!

  • Marc Anthony's wife, Jennifer Lopez, and ex-wife, Dayanara Torres, appear together on the cover of September's People En Español — thanks to the magic of Photoshop, natch — and Marc is not happy! [Page Six]
  • Kanye West: "Only white people and older black people say 'bling' now." So what's the new term? Dizzimonds? Help us, Kanye! [Page Six]
  • Tyra Banks' younger brother Devin, an Air Force cadet, leaves for Iraq next week. We were going to say something about America's Next Top Gun but it seems sorta inappropriate. [Page Six]
  • Marilyn Manson's former keyboard player says the rocker used earnings to buy stuff like Nazi memorabilia instead of paying the band. In all fairness, a lot of the cash probably went towards makeup, too. [Page Six]
  • Dina Lohan is being sued for fraud. Some guy claims he lent her $400,000 to jump-start Lindsay's music career. Uh, money well spent, dude! [Page Six]
  • The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag refuse to be in the same room together, making it hard to promote the show. Or easier to promote? Everyone loves drama. [Page Six]
  • Jake Gyllenhaal may play Joe Namath in a movie about the sports star's life. Jake, in a fur coat. Are you ready? [Liz Smith]
  • Last week, Britney went to L.A.'s Chateau Marmont to eat, and the only table available was next to Victoria "Posh" Beckham. Britney "didn't want to sit next to her, so she stormed off." One town, so many egos! [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
  • Lez(abel) blind item! "Which Sapphic starlet employed her lover as an "assistant" to explain why they always went out together?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
  • Bobby Brown has beefed-up security because he thinks bin Laden is after him. [Rush & Molloy]
  • The Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love" was sold to Proctor & Gamble for a Luvs diaper commercial. Surely someone will suffer a horrible karmic blow for this. [Rush & Molloy, 3rd item]
  • Andy Samberg thinks Justin Timberlake would be a great Saturday Night Live castmember, and we agree! [People]
  • Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is accusing Eddie Murphy of "not doing the right thing" regarding their daughter Angel. [People]
  • Paris Hilton, size 11, is launching a shoe line. The footwear will be "chic and trendy." Perhaps they forgot to add "tacky," but isn't it a given? [TMZ]
  • Posh is not sure the million-dollar mansion in Beverly Hills she had David Beckham bought is good enough — she wants to be in Malibu, on "Billionaire's Beach." [DailyMail]