Few types of women inspire as much antipathy — from jealous haters like us, anyway — as the insanely hot woman who is also being marketed to us as "smart." I am talking about Padma Lakshmi and Scarlett Johansson, and today more specifically CNBC "Money Honey" Maria Bartiromo, who has endured much hateration since she left all those bankers to fend for themselves on commercial out of Beijing so she and that banker dude could have the private jet to themselves, and then came home only to alienate all her co-workers by trademarking the phrase "Money Honey" and going soft on Condoleeza Rice. Now, Maria Bartiromo has the potential to be smart, but when you are as hot as Maria Bartiromo you are almost not allowed to be smart, because everyone is so amazed that someone as hot as you can even speak in full sentences. In the same way Penelope Cruz still can't really speak English because her hotness has given her a pass, Maria Bartiromo's hotness has bought her a smart pass, and this is bad for all women. Because it sets the smartness bar really low, as her recently-YouTubed dumb-as-rocks appearance on Celebrity Jeopardy conveys:
Category: The Capital, for $100 A: In 1989 hundreds of pro-democracy demonstrators were killed by the military at Tiananmen Square in this capital. Q: Maria buzzes in and makes a face for five seconds. A five second face, to her dismay, is incorrect. Armed with a functioning buzzer, Maria prepares to actually verbalize a question next time.
MARIA! We sure hope that last time around you weren't too horny for banker sex to notice what city you were in! It's only the capital of the world's most populous country! Anyway, the rest of the appearance is almost as pathetic. And yeah this is who gets to interview our Secretary of State. We are so doomed.