Girl Guides is the UK's answer to Girl Scouts. British girls learn first aid, have "outdoor challenges" like rock climbing, and acquire self-respect, teamwork skills, badges and crap like that. There's a Promise you make, (kind of like a pledge) that involves God and the Queen. Anyway, the Telegraph reports that times have changed for the Girl Guides. Where they used to make beds and light fires, they've now helped to put together a "guide to living for modern girls," which includes things like using Microsoft Word, putting together IKEA-style furniture and practicing safe sex. And although other suggestions like "money management" and "standing up to boys" were encouraging — especially since the skills from 1957 were "make a jam or pickle" and "keep a scrapbook about a colony" — the nagging feeling persists that these girls need more skills to truly be prepared for the modern world. May we suggest a few?

  • Recognizing a booty-text for what it is
  • Creative ways to hide things in your apartment or dorm room you don't want your mother to see
  • Suppressing your inner monologue while on job interviews or first dates
  • Drinking copiously without losing your job or dignity
  • Check-cashing 101
  • Creative calorie-counting (skipping lunch means more margaritas!)
  • Coping with the soul-crushing disappointment that is "being a grown-up."
  • Living in an society that values large-breasted, slim-hipped, spray tanned, extension-wearing women of questionable talent
  • Adobe Photoshop

The Modern Girl Guides: From Sex To Software [Telegraph]