Glamour's defunct dating blogger Alyssa Shelasky moved in with her parents. Now Glamour's new preggo blogger Christine Coppa is moving in with hers too! What's the difference? Christine's having a BABY. Alyssa was more like a 29-year-old BABY herself! See how one's a little more worthy of mockery than the other? Also, we can sort of relate. Sometimes we imagine what it would be like to have a baby without another person with a better credit score to help out, and we think: well, obviously we would be pretty fucked. Sure, we'd save a lot of money not drinking for nine months, but between you and us we haven't heard great things about the Gawker Media maternity leave policy. Anyway, there are a few other reasons we're still having trouble getting it up to hate Coppa. Namely her father, "Poppa Coppa" (pictured), and the fact that she relishes buying condoms while she's as big as a house, and the fact that her posts don't even approach Shelasky standards of suck. However.
What was up with yesterday's post likening seeing her unborn on a sonogram to "running into an old friend."
His teeny heart is pumping and ticking away (I saw all four chambers. They make up a little cross).
Wait, you mean like the one JESUS WAS CRUCIFIED ON?? Okay, maybe we're reading into things a little bit, but Coppa, please, if you don't want us to interpret subliminal messages into your blog, tell us what the fuck happened to your boyfriend. Also: who you're fucking with those condoms. And whether you've fielded any calls from the quadriplegic. Or we're going to have to keep doing that Kremlinologist thing we do and infer.