Fucking Republicans: As Bad As You Think

Confession. We never really had a problem before with the idea of Republicans getting laid, because we wouldn't be here if Republicans didn't get laid, and we definitely wouldn't be dirty Marxists if Republicans didn't get laid, and it's also not like WE have to be the ones to do it. But a story in today's Washington City Paper about the online community Late Night Shots, which is like the internet version of all the gross Georgetown bars where the Bush twins hang out, is making us reevaluate the universal right to bone, starting with the very first paragraph.

The three guys sitting at the bar at Town Hall in Georgetown swear it's a true story: A friend of theirs called a buddy in the middle of a sexual conquest, placing his cell phone out of view. When the voice mail picked up, it recorded him asking his lady, "You like that Republican cock?"
Sekkksy! Genuine racism masquerading as ironic racism, people who don't understand how women larger than a size 4 have sex with the lights on, and some rather uh Hobbesean pick-up attempts after the jump.
Then the bearded one in the middle busts out with this: "Do you like anal sex?" I squint. I'm confused. "Do you do anal?" he repeats, head bobbing with excitement. The litany continues. Do I want to take it in the ass? Have I ever taken it in the ass? My silence is taken as an affirmative and he announces that this interview will go no further unless he receives a hand job. I retreat into a hole carved out during similar sessions in high school and head for the door.
Classy! But there's more:

RE: optimal number for a woman Posted By: higher the better on 10-23-2006 1:39 pm I prefer high #'s. It usually means they really like to have sex, and that they are very good at it. And the idea that you might be exposing yourself to a serious disease is thrilling and really gets my blood flowing.

RE: optimal number for a woman Posted By: SF on 10-23-2006 1:58 pm I think one sexual partner for every 2-3 years is acceptable for a girl from a good family. Sex just isn't something girls should be doing if they are interested in marrying me.

Getting tainted by older men Posted By: Roger Chillingworth on 07-02-2007 9:16 am I'm concerned with a lot of the younger ladies in DC who are hooking up with and dating older guys. Whenever I first start seeing a girl I go through a checklist of what is acceptable, and having dated a guy who is 10+ years older than her is a tremendous red flag. I hope some of these younger girls realize the scarlet letter they are attaching to themselves by engaging in this scandalous behavior.

RE: Getting tainted by older men Posted By: Steve Pimpington on 07-02-2007 9:21 am I agree wholeheartedly. Nothing says "I blow guys for money" like dating some old rich dude. And the scarlet letter they are attaching to themselves is "W." For "whore."

Or alternately:
RE: change of pace Posted By: Boat Shoes on 10-20-2006 2:49 pm Everytime I'm in Adams Morgan, I take on at least 3-4 Ethiopans. Skinny little bastards are feisty.
So who fucks these guys? Well, Andrea Rodgers, a 35-year-old divorced "cougar" has understandable reservations, according to Washington City Paper:
'The group as a whole promotes the elite materialism, old money, Ivy League sort of entitlement kind of a thing,' she says. She ditched her profile and quit LNS. 'It was nice because there's so much negativity on there,' she says.
But not before she posted this!
"There is no such thing as a toned size 10! I'm sorry. If you are bigger than a 4 n you need to lose some weight. How women can go around being confident as a 10, I have no clue. I just can't see them wanting to have sex with lights on, or having a guy see them walk around the room undressed."
Members Only [Washington City Paper]