Kate Moss Sets Fire To Pete Doherty's Poems; Britney Bodyguard Love Affair Continues To Smolder

  • A broken-hearted and cheated-on Kate Moss has reached the "mid-level arson" point of the 7 stages of grief. [The Sun]
  • Child Protective Services visited Britney Spears' home three times last week and proclaimed it unsafe. It took three visits to determine this? What, the hypodermic needles and fridge full of rotting In-N-Out and pills didn't do the trick? Anyway she's living at a hotel with her bodyguard boyfriend now. [Page Six]
  • Remember that super-tasteful, low-key Memorial Day BBQ Ralph Lauren had to celebrate his new fragrance? Yeah it didn't go down so well with the endangered species population. [Page Six]
  • Hollywood wants to stop paying residuals. (Residuals = the reason Wilmer Valderrama gets laid.) [NY Times]
  • OK Magazine paid $400,000 for the Minnillo-Lachey sex pics — only to tell everyone they're not running them just keeping them around for blackmail purposes. Blueballs! [Gatecrasher]