*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories.

Jennifer Esposito To Play Subjugated Second-Fiddle To Val Kilmer's Hero Strangely-underutilized actress and currently-divorcing newlywed Jennifer Esposito, 34, (Spin City , Crash ) has signed on to star alongside Val Kilmer in the indie film Conspiracy , in which she'll play "the hardworking single mother of an 8-year-old daughter and the survivor of an abusive marriage," says The Hollywood Reporter . Conspiracy concerns a wounded war veteran (Kilmer) searching for a missing former colleague in an Arizona town; Esposito will, not surprisingly, play his girlfriend. Who at some point, we predict, will probably need rescuing. Esposito In 'Conspiracy' With Kilmer [HollywoodReporter]