Britney Spears Writes Filial Poetry; Owen Wilson Writes Genius

  • Britney Spears wrote a hate sonnet to her mother and in slightly less mentally challenged handwriting than Paris's. We've been searching all morning for some famous literary figure to reference here but "Jerry Springer" is the best we could do. He did go to Harvard... [MSNBC]
  • And speaking of Harvard! Al Gore III looks like he's lost some baby fat. We're thanking the Adderall. [NYDailyNews]
  • While Owen Wilson's contribution to a new book on celebrities and the environment shows he is a man after Al III's heart (with a touch of Thoreau!): "You know how people say marijuana is a gateway drug? That's sorta what buying a Prius was for me... I love nature, and I love taking walks on the beach at sunset." [Page Six]
  • Sean Combs and verylongtime gal Kim Porter are broken up but maybe he'll screw Sienna Miller? Long term potential alert! [Page Six]
  • To celebrate Independence Day, Lindsay Lohan made out with Diana Ross's 18-year-old son and accepted Samantha Ronson back into her life. So she's making the smart decisions again! [MSNBC]
  • Jennifer Aniston and whathisnameheshot are over. [US Weekly]
  • Pete Doherty took the whole "hmmm, there's a new lock here" hint and moved out of Kate Moss's house. [People]
  • Beyonce shops barefoot at Bergdorf's. [Page Six]
  • Making almost as much sense as usual, Paula Abdul promotes her new fragrance in an interview invoking the terms "cat pee, horse poop and fart." [Access Hollywood]
  • Check forging socialite Dori Cooperman will be in US Weekly this week for her month-long attempt to befriend Lindsay in rehab and boy are her frenemies happy for her! [Page Six]