We're Still Drunk (Off Paris Hilton's Charms, That Is)

  • Funny headline: 'Paris Hilton, Free To Speak Her Mind (Such As It Is)' [Washington Post]
  • Nicky Hilton was annoyed by the "media circus." And you know what they say about the stars...[Gatecrasher]
  • Britney Spears not going to perform with Cyndi Lauper and the MisShapes, much to our everlasting regret. Because she would probably puke all over the MisShapes, and we would love to see Leigh Lezark hold her party face after that. [Page Six]
  • Vivica Fox, who has a middle initial we refuse to use, drives tipsy. Will it be as good for her career as it has been for so many starlets? [TMZ]
  • So K-Fed and some guy from N-Sync who is not Lance Bass host dinner parties together. And Usher comes with preggers fiance, which gives gossips an excuse to drop Edgar Allan Poe ref in headline. [Rush & Molloy]