Lohan To Rejoin Her Coke-Filled Community One 12-Step At A Time

  • Lindsay Lohan signs up for a Promises outpatient program designed to enable her to "transition" back into her "community"...of cokehead pseudo-socialites. [People.com]
  • France snubs Turkey in EU talks. We think this has to do with Istanbul beating out Paris in that Newsweek story on "fashion forward" cities. [BBC]
  • The most interesting part of the whole "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case? That the word 'bong" was defined for the judges in the appeal. Oh c'mon, Scalia — don't pretend like you and Clarence Thomas don't toke up during recess. [CNN]
  • In other legal news, it's now on the books that "customer satisfaction" and a missing pair of pants are not worth $54 million. [ABC News]
  • At a campaign event last night, Hillary Clinton exited to KT Tunstall's "Suddenly I See." Could Hillary be replacing her Canadian soft-rock campaign song with an English one? [NBC News]
  • Kelly Clarkson was bulimic and Jordin Sparks has learned to love her figure: If you have body image issues and one helluva voice get ready — American Idol auditions start July 30 in a city near you. [USA Today]
  • It's official: Rosie O'Donnell will not be successding Bob Barker. And we are sad. Because we really wanted to see her try to fit some anti-warmongering into her oral description of "a neeww RV!" [E!]
  • 15 U.S. casualties identified since Friday. [DoD]