• Paris Hilton may act like she cares about her pets but really she only cares about Paris Paris Paris — and her neighbors totally see right through that bitch. [Page Six]
  
• And yet idiots everywhere persist in loving her! [TMZ]
  
• Supermodel Kate Moss is thin. Maybe she has some unhealthy habits? [Daily Mirror]
  
• Emosogynist-in-chief Zach Braff likes to suck face publicly with cute blondes! [Rush & Molloy]
  
• But he wasn't so great a boyfriend to poor Mandy Moore. [Page Six]
  
• Britney Spears turns out to be sort of a flake. [Page Six]
  
• Penelope Cruz attaches herself to a famous hot guy you kind of suspect is not going to get past the whole staring-at-rack stage of the relationship. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Celebrities don't always drive hybrid vehicles like they're supposed to. Uh, what about if they just drive them sober! [Rush & Molloy]

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