Hugh Hefner Somehow Procreating

  • Alpha Girl Next Door Holly Madison to make the octogenarispawn of Hef. [Rush & Molloy]
  • This one time, George Clooney made a weird joke on Leno about visiting Stonehenge and it was actually an inside joke with the Vegas stripper he was fucking. (Aw?) Also: "He has perfect feet for a man." [Daily Mirror]
  • My suspicion is that real famous people do not call up People to tell comment on how they got arrested but who knows, Kristy Swanson was on some show called Skating With Celebrities. [People]
  • Candy Spelling uses her columnist perch at TMZ to tell Britney Spears to stop being fodder for TMZ. [TMZ]
  • "The past is the past. It was amazing, it was magical." Bet you knew before I even said anything that this is a quote about the Spice Girls. [MSNBC]
  • Out-of-work Senator Rick Santorum overheard talking about his plans to make a movie. God help us. [Page Six]
  • Emosogynist-in-chief Zach Braff never defies expectations, does he? [Page Six]
  • Tom Cruise is so high up in the Church of Scientology they're letting him perform the wedding of billionaire James Packer. [Page Six]
  • Have you been to Starbucks lately? There are pictures of Paul McCartney everywhere, and he looks like a total tool, even for Starbucks. Anyway he's officially a senior citizen and richer than the Vatican, so, I guess, whatever. [Page Six]
  • Rod Stewart marries someone roughly his daughter's age. [MSNBC]
  • Boy band mogul Lou Perelman charged in Guam with running a Ponzi scheme bigger than he is. I predict this will become one of those fascinating, detail-rich Rolling Stone stories we will never have time to actually read. [MSNBC]