The Continued, Downward Slide Of 'The Starter Wife'

Okay it's official: The Starter Wife sucks. But because we embarked this particular television-miniseries train when it started, we're loathe to just jump off. After the jump, some basic (and we mean basic) facts and observations about the latest adventures of Molly Kagan and her spoiled-silly friends... for those who were actually smart enough to skip last night's episode.

Molly Kagan (Debra Messing): Molly is positive that homeless, sexy Sam is innocent of murder and to prove how much she believes in his innocence, she asks him out on a second date. Nevertheless, Sam is arrested for Lou's murder, leaving Molly heartbroken until she comes across none other than Lou himself in a parking garage. Lou explains to Molly that he faked his own death because his job is depressing. Even more fortuitously, Molly realizes that she is Sam's alibi, thereby helping to spring him from jail, and the two get it on, at last.

Joan MacAllister (Judy Davis): Sure, Joan was able to finagle her way out of rehab, but just like Amy Winehouse, she refuses to give up her vices. In fact, her drinking only seems to be getting worse and worse, as does her passing judgment on Sam and Molly's relationship. Joan just can't understand why Molly would want to fuck a homeless man and convicted killer. (Crazy, we know!) The whole thing comes to a messy climax when, drunk and behind the wheel, Joan crashes her car, breaking her nose in the process.

Cricket Stewart (Miranda Otto): Cricket's still a pain in the ass, although she tries to be ultra-supportive of Molly and her relationship with Sam.

Lavender (Anika Noni Rose): Lavender still has no last name. [Because she is black! - Ed.] She and her grandmother are still living with Joan. Grandma says perhaps there is someone in Malibu who needs a little extra money who will permanently rent them a room.

Rodney (Chris Diamantopoulos): Rodney is still poor. He still is being pursued by the ugly gay guy. We are still unsure why he is still poor or where the ugly gay guy came from.

Sam (Stephen Moyer): Sam almost never wears a shirt. Even when being taken to jail. Even when being released from jail.

Philip Roth: Still a strange presence in the series. In the beginning of this particular episode, Sam gives Molly his copy of The Anatomy Lesson. The fact that this is the second time this book has been mentioned can only mean that Roth himself has a deal second only to Pond's when it comes to product placement in this god-awful series. Or that Starter Wife creator Gigi Levangie Grazer is already shopping for her second husband.

Related: 'The Starter Wife': Sadly, We're Still Hooked
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