You might have noticed that this week's 'Midweek Madness' trailed off somewhere around the Bauer Publishing titles, otherwise known as In Touch and Life & Style. Here's the thing about those magazines: They should really not exist. We know we say that a lot and it is getting old and by the way fuck you, but what we mean is that these magazines are right up there with mint mojito flavored gum in the things we didn't ever want to have to look at in line at the drugstore checkout, and yet they persist to exist. What's more, these magazines have persisted in creating a whole clique of idiotic celebrities we really don't want to look at, the most idiotically persistent of whom are named Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. With nary a DUI charge nor a drunken romp at church nor a single incident of coked-up knifeplay, these two blond people-esque beings have dominated the Bauer celebrity magazines for weeks in an almost sinister streak of publicity that smacks to us of those elections where someone like, we don't know, Saddam Hussein or Mao would win like 99% of the vote. After the jump, Intern Maria takes her celebritologist microscope to the coverage in a plot that begs the question, Who is Paying Whom And Can't The Feds Freeze All Their Assets Already?
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