Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

The Tony Awards (otherwise known as the "Gay Super Bowl") were last night and, of course, we just had to comment on the clothes. The play-by-play, after the jump.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Christina Applegate: First down. The Hollywood "Glamour Barbie"-look may be Red Carpet 101, but Applegate wears it well.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Claire Danes: Penalty. Is it just us, or does Claire Danes own one dress in five different colors?

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Donna Murphy: Fumble. The woman looks a fool.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Idina Menzel: Interference. Ruining Wicked star Menzel's gorgeous frock is her grumpy face.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Jane Krakowski: Instant replay. This silver lame dress is so... Studio 54.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Marcia Gay Harden: Penalty. No, we don't know what she was thinking.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Naomi Watts: Sacked. Beautiful pregnancy-inflated breasts should not be hidden away in a sheath. The only redeeming part of this whole ensemble is that it is accessorized with Liev Schreiber.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Bill T. Jones: Touchdown. Throwing a Henley-style sweater underneath a tuxedo makes the legendary modern dancer and newly-minted Tony-winner even dreamier than ever. And yes, we know he's gay.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Patti Lupone: Unnecessary roughness. Why do Patti Lupone's clothes always look like they're trying to attack her?

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Vanessa Williams: Pass completed. Nice arc, great catch.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Zach Braff: Ejected. With a haircut this bad, Braff deserves to be benched for the entire season.

Judging The 'Gay Super Bowl'S

Carla Gugino: Touchdown. The color! The cut! The hair! The jewels! Gugino is almost a dead-ringer for Marilyn Monroe, who she played on Broadway back in 2004's After The Fall, and makes glamorous — and wearing chartreuse — look easy.