Oxy Withdrawal? Or Just "Spoiled Bratitis"? Shep And Greta Tackle The Tough Issues On Fox

You know we love Shepard Smith the most of all anchormanchildren, and Greta Van Susteren the most of all the Scientologists, and what we love about the two of them together is that, in spite of all their accumulated combined professional gravitas, they attack a subject like Paris's courtroom conduct like we would talk about it with OUR gay BFFs, were we allowed to actually, you know, talk to anyone during the day.

Shepard Smith: Was she on something?

Greta: Yeah, I have some speculations, but I have a law degree not a medical degree.

Shepard Smith: Speculate!

The full exchange, transcribed by our very own Slutmachine , after the jump.

Greta: What was painfully obvious is that there is something not quite right. She is a sick woman. I have no idea what the problem is, but certainly, someone needs to take a look at her. She sort of has a tick and shakes. We were stunned by how troubled and sick and she looked. She needs medical attention. I don't know what it is but I hope the judge can arrange that in jail for her. She turned around several times and mouthed 'I love you' to her mother. Look, you know, it's so easy to be cavalier about this, but when you're in the courtroom and you see what's going on in these people's lives and recognize that this is serious and she has a medical condition...

...There is something going on with her. She needs to get a good medical diagnosis. She shakes, she twitches, she quivers. There's something wrong with her.

Shepard Smith: Was she on something?

Greta: Yeah, I have some speculations, but I have a law degree not a medical degree.

Shepard Smith: Speculate!

Greta: I won't do that. I can make an observation like a lay person and say that she's sick. There's something wrong with her. If she showed up on my doorstep like this, the first thing I would do is take her to a doctor...

Shepard Smith: When she's screaming, and I'm reading this from the wire, "Mom, it's not right. Mom!" I mean, all of this looks funny quite frankly on paper but you're saying it felt sick.

Greta: I can understand how it seems funny, but if you were sitting in the courtroom it was very different. This woman is obviously very pained by this process, and that's part of the punishment, but when we saw her twitch and shake and quiver, it wasn't out of sadness. It appears to be a medical problem. The judge said the county was equipped to handle it.

Shepard: From what I've seen of her on TV and what I know about her and her show and her little dog, do you think this is spoiled bratitis?

Greta: From what I've seen, I'm more suspicious that it's drug related. That's my wild guess. That's what it appears like. If you have ever seen people on drugs, that's what her behavior is consistent with. That doesn't mean that's what it is. Even if she has a drug problem, it needs to be addressed, because that's a medical condition.
"Sick Woman" Fox News