Louboutins? Marc Jacobs Jellies? Nah. It's All About Crocs!

OMG!!! Crocs, maker of comfy-anti-chic (yay for rebel style! fight the man!) clog-sandal hybrids (a clandal? a slog?) is expanding its brand and launching a full-out line of Crocs-branded footwear. With price-points ranging from $149 to $299 you've got to admire the way that Crocs wants consumers to drain their wallets in the name of slacker style. The top 5 reasons why we can't wait for the next in rubber shoes, after the jump.

1. Sienna Miller for Tod's? Scarlett for Louis Vuitton? Child's play. We want to see big man on the restaurant campus and noted Crocs-wearer Mario Batali starring in the ad campaign. We're envisioning a Mario Testino (Mario + Mario!) photo shoot in which a scantily-clad Batali stirs up some real fires in the kitchen wearing the new Crocs fashions. Yes, we realize the line is for women. But Batali in drag? We'd buy anything with that image behind it.

2. As we discussed yesterday, you could wear rubber on your feet in an 80's throwback kind of way. But why pay homage to a style from decades past when you could we wearing less-fashionable clonkers on your feet in brand new styles? Poor judgment regarding inadequately-ventilated footwear is always in style, clearly!

3. We love high-low style! (Paging John Edwards during Sunday night's debate!!!) That's why we think the fact that the new shoes will be mixing rubber with leather, suede, and lambswool is sure to yield one classy shoe. Who wouldn't want to wear the bastard lovechild of Uggs and a rubber plant?

4. Puke green, rotting papaya orange, dirty snow grey: If these aren't the hottest colors to put on your feet, we don't know what is!

5. Last time we checked, the whole point of Crocs is that wearing them is a choice of comfort over style. Which like we totally dig, ok? So the fact that the new line has 8 of 9 designs on a steep wedge heel — well, doesn't that imply style over comfort? And why choose, say, Yves Saint Laurent wooden platforms when you could be achieving the same pain quotient in an overpriced everyman shoe? Stylish pain? That's just masochistic. But ugly pain? Now that's a look everyone can love!

Crocs Unveils Fashion Line To Broaden Customer Base [WSJ]