Life Advice For 'Portfolio' Fashion Blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe

Portfolio magazine's fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe is in New York, no doubt visiting with the people who hired her, which may be why her blog posts are suddenly really long. (But still bad!) Crowe's most recent nugget details how, after attempting to incite a backlash-to-the-backlash against the new Tom Ford store from across the Atlantic, she actually visited the store in New York and hated it (denied entrance to the velvet rope area — hmmmph!). Lauren, two biiig rules of blogging you should know, from people with almost as little blogtime under their belts as you:

1. Hate everything, and
2. Hate yourself.

We dunno if you're a religious type, but there's an easy way to remember this if you've read that part in the Bible where Jesus boils down the 10 Commandments into two easy ones. Only where He says "love", substitute "hate," so it's more like:

1. Hate Yourself above all those things.
2. Hate (the thing you are blogging about) As You Hated All Other Things (you hated before) The first part is really important for when you make really, really dumb mistakes borne of arrogance, like that time we fucked up your name and even had our intern PHOTOSHOP AN ENTIRE GRAPHIC INCORPORATING THE FUCKUP. And look, we hate ourselves so much we're linking to it! How easy was that?

Tom Ford's Store: My Two Cents [Fashion, Inc.]
Love God Above All Things, And Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself [A Christian website]
Earlier: 'Portfolio' Fashion Blogger Hates The Word Blog