Vanessa Minnillo Is The Tit Grabber In Lindsay Lohan Slasher Pic

  • So it was Vanessa Minnillo in those Lohan-knife-"sexy"? photos! We thought Minnillo was famous for dating Nick Lachey but apparently she's also famous for being the celebrity interviewer least likely to interview celebrities now that she's a seasoned starfucker. Also, she is one of the very exclusive cadre of industry babes who has been linked to Derek Jeter. So why is she just being identified today, if the photos appeared on Sunday Euro time? Because the gossip press cares ALMOST as much as we do. [Page Six]
  • Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson split, giving us respite from their constant reminders that the offscreen existence of celebrities whose movies we have actually seen is somehow evem more depressing than that of Heidi and Spencer. [Page Six]
  • Jolie-Pitt's next adopt-quisition to be a Czech boy, thereby tilting her family's racial makeup towards Aryan Nation territory. [TheSun]
  • MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough asks if Fred Thompson's wife "works the pole," which is something we guess is okay to ask among conservatives as long as Michelle Malkin isn't listening. [Crooks&Liars]
  • People are still wondering who Prince Harry's "REAL" dad is. [USAToday]
  • Paris Hilton gets a cell bigger than the room we lived in until May; a jumpsuit with short sleeves, and is allowed to keep her extensions. [TMZ]
  • Joe Francis is free on his tax evasion charges after posting $1.5 million bail; crimes against humanity still working themselves out. [TMZ]
  • Jennifer Aniston drops thousands on gifts for Wyatt Crow, otherwise known as the kid Sheryl Crow (creepily? should we give her a break since .. like, cancer?) told OK Magazine was "My Dream Baby." [TMZ]
  • And speaking of environmentalists with significant others maybe a leeeedle bit too narcissistic to handle them: Laurie and Larry David split. [Page Six]
  • Borat's fiance totally cried at "Knocked Up" last weekend. [People]
  • Today Show staffers call Good Morning America "Gay-MA" and host Chris Cuomo an epithet so sophomoric it sounds like something Jenny would say. [Page Six]
  • Real estate mogul to his 7-year-old upon presentation of her Lego rendition of his building: "Ivanka, I wasn't going to say anything, but this really has been bothering me, there are five setbacks in the façade of the Trump Tower, not six."[LizSmith]