The World According To ABC News: The War, Decision 2008, And A Girl Named Ronson

A lot of big questions loom for the hard-working people in the business of hard news at ABC. Who has the edge in the Democratic primary? Could a Center for Disease Control fuckup plunge the entire country into a second Black Death? Can a $30 billion pledge to Africa salvage Bush's legacy? Is a nuclear-armed Iran a bigger deal than a nuclear-armed North Korea? And our personal fave:

So why don't most Americans recognize Ronson's name?

We know what you're thinking: God, the only "Ronson" my Lindsobotomized head can think of right now is... But you'd be prematurely hating yourself, and forgetting there's a whole media landscape out there to keep your disgust fresh. Because it's that Ronson all right. Four hard-hitting, skeptical, inquisitive pages on her. (Spoiler alert: Some people think she's not that great a DJ!)

Lindsay Lohan's Hard-Partying Gal Pal [ABCNews]