And the Winner of the First Lauren Goldstein Crowe Award Is... Lauren Goldstein Crowe!

Portfolio "Fashion Inc." blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe has a post today about how Manolo Blahnik's discovery of the internet reminds her of a day when "the internet" in the fashion industry was as dirty a word as, you know, "Cleveland." We were totally going to use this opportunity to muse on whether the eBay-ification of fashion has actually made us more or less depressed about humanity: On one hand, there is something sort of uplifting about seeing a status handbag on eBay, removed from the undulating walls of its Peter Marino-designed shrine and exposed for all its 55 grand absurdity. On the other hand, seeing how many people — in perfectly reasonable places like Maryland — who will bid vast sums even without the absurd proximity-based social pressure to do so: A little less uplifting!

But then we read the post. Which, like most Lauren Goldstein Crowe posts, has been finely-engineered to offer an optimally-small ratio of "information relevant to the business of fashion" to "information relevant to making you dislike Lauren Goldstein Crowe". And so, we herewith present our first Lauren Goldstein Crowe Award for Ludicrous Fashion Insight Delivered By An Ostensibly Smart Person to .... Lauren Goldstein Crowe! A summary of Lauren's post follows.

  • Manolo Blahnik launched a website.
  • Lauren Goldstein Crowe "began writing online about fashion in 1996."
  • Lauren Goldstein Crowe was emailing Manolo Blahnik workers — plural! — in 1996, at "really cute emails that said THEIRNAMEManolo@aol.com." She emailed them so much she remembers their emails 11 years later!
  • Manolo Blahnik offers a "more conservative" selection of shoes in the US than in Europe. No way!
  • Lauren Goldstein Crowe lives in Europe!
  • Manolo Blahnik is frustrated about the state of his US distribution.
  • Lauren Goldstein Crowe knows this because Lauren Goldstein Crowe KNOWS MANOLO BLAHNIK!

Seriously, the only thing that could have redeemed this post is a Carrie Bradshaw reference. And yeah, we mean "redeemed" in the "actually redeemed" sense. Anyone writing about the "business" of Manolos who fails to mention Sex And The City stylist Patricia Field (or, come to think of it, a single NUMBER) is... worthy of a LGC Award. Oh, and also: The first person to unearth an actual photograph of Laurie wins drinks on us. We are really sick of this fucking illustration.
Manolo Blahnik Goes Online [Portfolio]