What Do Mary-Kate, Ashley, Ralph Lauren, And Nike Have In Common? Not Enough Money, Apparently!

  • The Olsen twins are launching a new clothing line, not to be confused with their other two clothing lines. Called Elizabeth and James and named after the other two Olsen siblings, it's a joint venture with the parent company of Seven For All Mankind jeans with a fascinating theme: The "clash between masculinity and femininity." Is that like when you've been starving yourself so long you don't have to buy tampons anymore? [WWD, sub req'd]
  • A movie is being made about the life of designer and debauched punk starfucker Vivienne Westwood, and we would looove to see Alan Cumming in the role of Sex Pistol/Westwood-ex Malcolm McLaren. [Vogue UK]
  • You thought Nike couldn't get any more mileage (HAH!) out of reissuing new colors of its retro shoes? The latest shades are that attractive shade of old-PVC yellow, dirty maroon, and weatherbeaten green. Fuck them for looking kind of awesome. [NYTimes]
  • The Wall Street Journal's Teri Agins attempts to explain why Polo is suddenly minting so much money. One theory: Douchebags! Seriously though, can we PLEASE BAN THE WORD "ASPIRATIONAL"? [WSJ, sub req'd]
  • Armani is opening a 47,000-square foot megastore in Manhattan, which is apparently just the first phase of some Five Year Plan to boost Italian manufacturing. [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Nordstrom is also opening here, finally, and though we'd rather get another Trader Joe's we can't hate that service! [WWD, sub req'd]
  • Allen Edmonds shoes are superior to other men's shoes because they don't have a metal shank. We have no idea what a "shank" is but the word makes us giggle each time we say it. Blame Cosmo or something. [WSJ]
  • Your longtime fantasies of having a nervous breakdown while wearing a party dress could have been realized if you 1) are a size 0 and 2) had 200 grand to burn yesterday, when Christie's auctioned-off the pink dress worn by Audrey Hepburn when she tears down the house upon learning of her brother's death in Breakfast at Tiffany's. The buyer was "private" which we did not need Jude Law in the movie 'Closer' to tell us also means "gay." [Yahoo News]