How Alex Rodriguez (Kinda) Explains The World Of Men

As any sports fan knows, baseball is kinda like dating; that is, it's a game of heartbreak, strikeouts, and low averages. And as much as we'd love to have a laugh over this morning's NY Post story on how New York Yankee infielder Alex Rodriguez looks to have cheated on his wife — we like ragging on the Yankees, you know! — the whole thing is more depressing than amusing. Mostly because A-Rod (or 'Stray Rod', as the Post has christened him) serves as a reminder that no matter how benign or boring a guy seems in public — the main reason we love the game is because it's populated by men who know a thing or two about loyalty, humility, subtlety and teamwork, except of course, guys like Damon, Bonds, Sheffield, and Clemens — in private, sometimes even the most seemingly decent man (or so his handlers say!) is just another pig with a weakness for bleached blondes in heels.

But the real problem here is that Alex — who suffered one his worst years statistically during the 2006 regular season with a staggeringly high number of strikeouts, a slugging percentage 50 points lower than his career average and his second-fewest home runs since 1997. Oh, and then there was that stinker of a postseason! — seems to have stuck to the script that so many down-on-their-luck dudes follow when rising from the ashes of their own creation: Cheating on their wives. What is it with these people??? We'd ask a shrink, but, uh, we hear that Alex's psychologist wife Cynthia isn't taking new patients.

He's A Yankee Doodle Randy [NYPost]