Please Do Not Cough On Oprah; She Pays Her Doctor In Cash

According to this blog, for an upcoming episode Oprah invited Michael Moore come talk about Sicko, his new documentary on the US health care system, a movie we assume has something to do with how the health care industry has become more like fashion, with companies creating new diseases and ailments (acid reflux) so they can peddle us new pills and procedures, sorta the way we never knew we needed foundation primer until like two years ago. But! Whereas in fashion, where celebrities get all their shit for free, it turns out Oprah actually pays for all her health care costs in cash!

Furthermore, Oprah never uses her medical insurance anymore because once after getting blood tests done she later saw a screaming headline in a rag, she said, with the headline, "Oprah tests negative for AIDS"

We can so relate! Except, um, when we tested negative for AIDS we kinda felt like taking out an ad to announce it! Does that mean we are bigger oversharers than Oprah? After the jump, other stuff from the Michael Moore/Oprah taping that was TOO HOT FOR TV.
  • She checks into hotels under the alias "Billie Jo McAllister." But probably not anymore!
  • She's going to Africa. And so, apparently, are lots of other celebrities! So many that Vanity Fair has found twenty of them for one of those huge massive celebrity clusterfuck covers on which they always save all the black people for inside the gatefold!
  • Some guy's sister thought the Michael Moore movie — It was screened for guests on the show! With complimentary popcorn! — was really good, and she's totally a nurse from North Carolina whose sister is a pharmaceutical sales rep so she was bound to take issues with it. Random, we know! But we were a little weirded out when we heard that Michael Moore was making the point that health care in Cuba is better than here. Isn't there a country in the European Union that could sort of better illustrate that point? Like maybe every single one? Anyway, what we're saying is that it's good to know Southerners are feeling it, you know? Like maybe the terrorists HAVEN'T won?
  • No gum allowedin Oprah's studio, and if you are in Oprah's studio audience and you need to cough, you are supposed to alert an usher who will DISPENSE A COUGH DROP. Uh, yeah, like, Virgo much, Oprah?

Oprah Pays Cash For All Her Medical Procedures [Confessions of a Paparazzi]