No Surprise Here: Lindsay Lohan's Boy-Toy A Total Tool

  • Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend had better be a really good lay, cause the kid has an infidelity prob that isn't, it turns out, restricted to his behavior around the irresistible Helen of Troy reincarnation that is Sara Kova. [Rush & Molloy)
  • We like that Ike Turner, who just spent the night in jail over an eighteen-year-old warrant that wasn't even valid, is all: "Hey, no one's perfect, I'm not mad about it." But seriously, this is the most depressing case of cops harassing a black male even though he's famous since, uh, last month when ?uestlove got interrogated by the DEA. [TMZ]
  • Nicole and Joel Madden broken up? But just last week the tabs were talking marriage! However could two mature adults change their minds so very very rapidly? [PerezHilton]
  • Marilyn Manson on the end of his marriage: "Dita didn't understand the amount of pain I went through." Hmm, maybe she would have picked up on it if you'd given her some subtle visual clues, like wearing black all the time or looking really pale and gaunt? [Page Six]
  • Charles Barkley: Who died and gave Al Sharpton the right to speak on behalf of all nappy headed hos? [Page Six]
  • Of all the starlets who've slipped and fallen on their nine-inch heels, why did The Office's Jenna Fischer have to be the one to actually break multiple bones? Why not that ditz from The Hills? Why not Scarlett Fucking Johansson? [Page Six]