Elisabeth Hasselbeck hates abortion and sex! Today on The View, Republican apologist Hasselbeck described how she almost broke up a hot 'n heavy makeout session between two teenagers in a New York City park over the weekend. "I know they were going to have sex," Elisabeth explained, adding that she shot pointed looks at the two lovebirds and purposely drew attention to her rapidly-expanding uterus in order to underscore the dangers of penis-on-vagina contact . "You're like some new weird form of birth control," responded Joy Behar. We're sorry to say that Joy is more on the money with that remark than even she realizes.

[The View]