Lily Allen is going to starve herself and it's all our fault. Well ours, and Amy Winehouse's. Writes Allen on her MySpace page:
fat, ugly and shitter than winehouse.... I [used to feel] like it didnt matter if I was a bit chubby cause, im not a model, I'm a singer . Im afraid I am not strong and have fallen victim to the evil machine . I write to you in a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle , I have spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery , and laser lipo suction.
Chin up Lily! Your fans love you! Check out their helpful pearls of wisdom, after the jump.
Some think you need to get laid: "Is it the old pressure to look like a skinny boy thing going on. You need a bit of lovin if you ask me."
Some say it's cultural imperialism: "Spending too much time in the States is not good for anyone's self image."
Others point to a lack of character: "stop fucking feeling sorry for urself...and go to the fucking gym!!!!"
Or maybe it's simply the fault of your beloved Earl Grey: "gastric bypass surgery sounds a little drastic - I'd start off with something simple like swapping cream for Elmlea."
And if that doesn't work, you can always substitute a lump of sugar for a bump of blow!