Lindsay Lohan Classily Accepts Our Undying Gratitude For Another Morning Of Gossip Almost Entirely Related To Her And Her Snatch

  • Jane Fonda to Dina Lohan: "If you screw it up now, you don't get another chance!" More delusionally optimistic words were probably never spoken. [Page Six]
  • You know how Lindsay was all "I'm going to New York to fuck Jude Law" and you were like 'yeah sugar nose and maybe you should show Hillary how to fix Social Security while you're at it'? According to the New York Daily News, that equals confirmation of their earlier suspicions about the LoLaw. [Gatecrasher]
  • What better qualification for fine art dealing than having spawned the post-feminist pop cultural memeplex we all now know by the term "firecrotch"? Yeah yeah yeah $$ helps. [Page Six]
  • Jessica Simpson and "demure" in the same sentence! [Page Six}
  • It took us three Shrek movies and There's Something About Mary for us to catch on to this, but we think Cameron Diaz might have a leeeedle bit of a slime fetish. [Page Six]
  • And in truly uplifting news, Fran Drescher looks considerably better than us in a swimsuit. [Perez]