Nothing warms the cockles of our hearts more than when the owner of every leading ice cream brand (and also Slim-Fast!) decides to round out its offerings for the binge-purge demographic by inventing a new line of "firming" anti-cellulite lotions marketed under the auspices of aggressive self-acceptance. Unilever, the consumer products conglomerate behind Ben & Jerry's and all those new anti-cellulite lotions you should buy if you are one of those people who is kind of fat and cottage-cheesy but totally comfortable and happy that way (except, like, sorta not?) made a really profound and paradigmic announcement today: No more size zero models in its ads!

Needless to say, we are stunned. Is it even possible to sell ice cream and self-tanner without the help of an emaciated Estonian? Perhaps, but we are selling our shares in Unilever right after we finish this pint of Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone dream.

Unilever bans size zero models from its ads [Guardian]

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