Everything's coming up Brangelina in celeb-weekly land today. Gracing the covers of the Bauer Publications titles Life & Style and InTouch (and featured in US and Star as well), the delectable duo are all over the major celebrity mags like a bad case of herpes. Here's how the four big boys stack up.
Life & Style: Angie and Brad are over and out. Though "sources" claim both are ready to move on, we're doubtful, as dutiful dad Brad was home, happily taking care of the kiddies while Angelina was out at a Tribeca Film Festival afterparty, getting cuddly with former flame (and recent Kylie Minogue-ex) Olivier Martinez. Life & Style insists, however, that Brangelina will continue to keep up appearances, the better promote their upcoming film, A Mighty Heart. Forget doing it for the kids, do it for the dollars!
US Weekly: This mag is all over Angelina's steamy film festival night out as well, going so far as to say that the actress gave her Taking Lives co-star Martinez a lap dance and continued on with some grinding on the dance floor. Says a clearly horrified witness to the carnal carnage, "You don't act that way in a committed relationship." USalso whips out an expert body language reader for a weighing-in. Her conclusion? Angelina likes Olivier. Olivier likes... Angelina's son Maddox.
InTouch: It's an altogether different tale here, namely, that Brad and Angelina are in the throes of a major menage a trois with Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova. Although Karolina has a boyfriend of four years who claims he's never even met Mr. & Mrs. Smith sexpots, clearly the proof is in the pudding: Kurkova told New York magazine that she would like to see Angie as the next U.S. president. (If that doesn't say sure-fire sex scandal, we don't know what does).
Star: In a pathetic, "everyone-else-is-talking-about-Brangelina-so-we-better-find-something-to-say-and-soon" move, Star revives the Angelina's In Love With Her Brother rumor, asserting that Angelina's sibling James is coming between her and Brad. A word of advice to Star's new editor-in-chief, Candace Truzo: If you want to play with the big boys over at Bauer and Wenner Media, it might be time to move on from the incest thing. That's so, you know, Y2K.