News At 6:42: Ryan Gosling Now .0001% More Likely To Marry You

  • If Britney Spears gets any stupider, she will cease to be capable of walking upright, and you know what that means: EVEN MORE pics of her cooch from under those really modest minidresses! [The Superficial]
  • Jam Master Jay was killed by the same guy suspected of killing Tupac, which we guess means all those East Coast-West Coast allegiances were bogus. [USA Today]
  • Jennifer Lopez has switched allegiances from creepy-cult Santeria to creepy-cult Scientology. [PerezHilton]
  • Madonna not very popular with Africans, Guy Ritchie. [CNN]
  • The internet community would like to see David Beckham's foreskin cut off, would probably volunteer to do it themselves knowing them. [DListed]
  • No more wedding in works for Wedding Crashers star who got rock from actor who got Oscar smoking rock? Well, they're ON THE ROCKS. Jesus, give us a drink. [Perez]