We're way too old to understand what the hell is happening with kids today, but occasionally a little factoid — like how it's apparently now possible to score 2400 on the SAT?! — makes us fear for the economic future of the MySpace generation. This week US Weekly runs a two-page spread on the "secret diaries" of Anna Nicole Smith, which date back to the 90s and have surfaced thanks to the generosity of some weird German businessman. Anyway, the diaries were supposed to be redolent of the sort of cracked-out idiocy we'd come to expect from the girl once known as Vickie Lynn. Take this passage, for example:
Well Im going to Miami for my 1st real shoot for Guess. Im kinda scared Im afraid Paul will find out about my past and be so upset and fire me and not want to see me anymore. But I cant tell him. Im ashamed. Ive been really stressed out lately and depressed and I cant quit eating.
Is it just us or is Anna Nicole Smith circa August 16, 1992 actually not illiterate? She's remarkably consistent about the whole no-apostrophes thing, plus, in another entry she actually doesn't misspell "clothes", which always seems to trip up celebs nowadays. Grammatically and syntactically-speaking, this shit does not even rank on the celebutard standards of 2K7. I mean, Jason Wahler spelled his own name wrong when registering his MySpace URL, people.