Liveblogging "Letterman": All-Mulatto Edition!

Tonight we'll be live-blogging the appearance of Barack Obama and Halle Berry on The Late Show with David Letterman. Why? Because, like Barack and Halle, we're also half-breeds with divorced parents! (Well, actually, Moe is blonde and has parents who still love one another. Aww!). We're also secretly hoping for a Halle Berry/Michelle Obama smackdown, seeing as Halle arrived at the Late Show studios earlier today wearing a full-on fuck-me outfit of black stilettos and leather pants (see photo above). Will Barack be able to resist? Will Halle bring up the suicide attempt she claims is old news but reportedly keeps rehashing anyway? Check back in later to find out; the festivities begin at 11:35pm EST.

(Live blog begins after the jump)

•David comes out to complain about the weather; makes some lame jokes about the Yankees and Barry Bonds.

•First mention of Barack. "He wants to make two major announcements. Once he wants to announce his plan for ending the war. The next he wants to announce his plan for canceling The View."

•Halliburton joke.

•Mention of Halle Berry receives 1/3 more applause than Barack's name-check.

•It really IS mixed-race day at the Ed Sullivan Theater! David mourns Tiger Woods' loss at the Masters the day before.

•Back from commercial break: The Top Ten List — "Things I Can Say Now That I've Won The Masters" — as presented by tournament winner Zach Johnson. By the way: What is up with David's tie? Ug. Ly.

•Johnson is appealingly nervous. Number 6: "Even I've Never Heard Of Me!" Cute.

•Quick commercial break. Here comes Barack. Nice suit! Barack claps along with the audience as he walks out, and hey! He's even taller than Dave is! Dave asks him about his smoking. Barack admits that he's terrified of wife Michelle. Barack won't answer the question about how long he'd been smoking. Dave says it might actually be cool if we had a president who smoked. "The gum's working good," says Barack. "I could use some now."

•Discussion of bills, vetos, Republican congressmen, and phasing out of Iraq. "We're going to have to be much more aggressive with diplomacy in the region, both inside of Iraq and outside of Iraq," says Barack. Whoops! Barack tries to stifle a burp. He gets applause after saying "You don't go to war based on faulty intelligence".

•More Iraq-talk. Barack is gesticulating a lot with his hands, making the wedding ring on his left hand in the close-up shots very, very visible. Michelle, no doubt, is in the green room shooting Halle pointed looks.

•Barack says he thinks the U.S. is the "last best hope on earth."

•David loves Barack's suit! "This is a tremendous suit you have. This is a beauty. That is an electable suit. I would vote for that suit. A good-looking suit."

•Back from commercial break. Time to talk about campaign funds! And David Geffen/Hillary flap. "I don't think there was much to that. I have to say that the folks in Illinois or Iowa were really worrying about David Geffen getting in a spat with the Clintons." Hear that, Maureen?

•Barack smiles at mention of Kucinich. Now we've got full-blown laughs: David has mentioned a Barack-Hillary Democratic ticket or a Hillary-Barack Democratic ticket. Barack prefers the former, natch.

•David laughs a little too hard at Barack's anecdote about his kids. Dave winces when Barack admits that he's away from home so often that Michelle has taken to referring to him as "my first husband." Halle! Here's your opening!

•Halle's here. Girl looks good.

•Snooze. Golf talk.

•David asks Halle about Barack. "I love him. I got to meet him at Oprah's house." She also likes his suit. Reticent, are we, Halle?

•Is Halle dumb? Shy? Nervous? Humorless? This interview is just inching along. Put us out of our misery, David.

•Our prayers are inexplicably and quickly answered. David tells Halle how gorgeous she is, and then we're off. G'night everyone!

[Image via SplashNews]