Welcome to Wednesday Magness, in which we "read" the celeb tabloids. So you don't "have" to.

US Weekly is the biggest newsstand tantalizer this week with the hed "Her Twisted Double Life" — her being Angelina — and promising to analyze
-her broken promise to be a stay-at-home mom
-Secret fights with Brad over Pax's adoption
-How she uses her kids to manipulate the media.
(Our boldface, natch!)

The effect of which is sort of a bonerkiller to Life & Style Weekly's promise to reveal details of Brangelina's death threats. Yawn. Slightly more interesting, if you care about Katie Holmes (not really) or Scientology (totes!) Star and InTouch both front stoned-looking pix of K, with InTouch sporting a typically horrid couple shot and detecting another hirsute bun in her oven, Star promising to reveal details of what happened when Tom uncovered Katie's secret plan to leave him.

Contact information for this author is not available.