Did Gonzales Fire All Those Government Lawyers Because They Were Fat And/Or Ugly? The Blogosphere Says So!


Maybe if we had not been soooo preoccupied with the anticipation of the results of Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy that have been bating our breaths and keeping us at the edge of our sofas for the past like nineteen weeks, we would have had time to pay attention to this Attorney General Gonzales scandal that is threatening to start to erode at the nation's approval of the ever popular President Bush or something. But we feel smart for even remembering "the Attorney General" and "Gonzales" are the same person! (Remember when the Attorney General was a chick? Yeah, she wasn't very pretty. But still! ) Thankfully, the blogosphere is around to explain this stuff in language we can understand: sororities. According to this blogger who sounds like he pays attention to this stuff, the whole thing is actually just an official Washington version of a scandal we know all too well: that sorority house that evicted the fat girls!


In both cases, the purgers valued a hidden, unofficial standard (conventional attractiveness, willingness to elevate politics over law) far more highly than their public, official standard (friendship/personal growth, enforcement of law). And to conceal this unsavory reality, they shifted the blame to the purgees, slandering them as lazy or incompetent underperformers.

So basically, the Bush administration fired a bunch of government lawyers because they were fat and ugly. I mean, "Shut Up!", right? But we checked out some pics, and we think maybe it's true! It totes made us miss the days when presidents were too horny to work around women who were not semi-butch. They just seemed so competent that way.

Dubya Zeta
[Firedoglake]