Jenna Bush, The Next Dave Eggers? Actually, More Like Anne Frank

Why do we have a soft spot for Jenna Bush? Maybe because we, too, can't help that we have a Republican for a father and a serious drinking problem. Maybe because she looks sort of Julia Stiles-y in this picture but not in that way that you sort of wonder what the fuck happened to Julia Stiles as a kid to make her scowl that way all the time. Anyway, Jenna doesn't need the $300,000 she's getting from HarperCollins to publish her book on a orpahaned HIV-positive teenage mother in Panama, but let's not bury the lead here — Jenna Fucking Bush is still alive? Jenna Fucking Bush has not been hospitalized for methadone abuse yet? Jenna Bush is writing a book? What happened to Jenna getting arrested? Jenna not showing up for work? Jenna getting her plumber ass beat by Robin Givhan? Jenna wandering from Zanzibar to Barclay's Square like she's in a some hermetically sealed Jenna-bubble? Oh wait, here it comes:

She says she "very, very modestly" hopes her book will have some of the influence of two books about girls caught up in the Holocaust: Lois Lowry's novel Number the Stars and Anne Frank's The Diary of Anne Frank.

Oh, poor baby, see: comparing oneself to Lois Lowry and Anne Frank, even if liberal USA Today is baiting you, isn't quiiiite modesty.

Jenna Bush Embarks On Book "Journey" [USA Today]

Bush Name Not Quite As Lucrative As Foer
[Radar]